


you kiss my lips and all of a sudden I forget.

by Skamtrash



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break up sex, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Reunions, Sexual Content, Smut, Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22718227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skamtrash/pseuds/Skamtrash
Summary: sander and robbe have been seeing each other for four months but sander is still with britt and robbe is tired of being hurt.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 11
Kudos: 231





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I love angst. Be prepared. An epilogue might be in store

Jens doesn't want to talk bad about his best friend, it's not in his nature but to say what Robbe was doing wasn't stupid, desperate, foolish and a mistake would be wrong.

It happens practically every weekend. The crew goes out to their party of choice and right before the night ends, Sander makes his way through the doors ready to take Robbe home. And Robbe knows Jens hates that, so he always gives an awkward goodbye as he walks into Sander's arm and kisses him and Sander takes him back to Robbe's place and fucks him into the wee hours of the morning. Every weekend.

When the best friends are a bit high at the skate park and Jens just shared recently hooking up with Jana after their breakup several years ago, he ask Robbe about Sander.

"We're good." He says simply. 

"Are you? Has he left his girlfriend yet?" 

Robbe just huffs and looks out to the water, "I don't know why you always have to bring that up."

"Because it seems like you constantly need a reminder. Robbe, he is in a relationship with someone else, not you. I don't know what bullshit he's feeding you but it's been four months and he hasn't done shit to end it and you just go after him when he calls, he'll never end it with her if you don't give him an ultimatum"

"I'm in love with him" He admits embarrassed. 

"Then tell him to make his fucking mind up."

Robbe just plays with the laces of his shoes, "I'm scared" He admits. 

"Of what?"

"What if--" He clears his throat 

"What if he picks her?" Jens finishes and Robbe nods, squinting from the sun. 

"It might be worth it because he's playing both of you and you're letting him."

.

The following Saturday, Robbe wakes up sore from being with Sander last night. He stretches out on his bed and climbs out of bed, slipping his underwear on. 

He heads down the hall to the kitchen to see Sander putting some breakfast on a plate and he walks up behind him, kissing his back.

"What are you doing up?" Sander ask. "I can't give you breakfast in bed if you're not in bed" he complains

Robbe laughs and scurries back to his room and Sander follows moments later with the food he whipped up. 

"For me?' Robbe ask, pretending he's shocked, taking the plate. "Thank you." He puckers his lips and Sander leans down to kiss him and sits beside him. 

Robbe immediately starts eating and moans to himself, "So good."

Sander smiles proudly as they eat in a comfortable silence. 

"So I spoke to Jens last week." Robbe starts when he's halfway done with his food. 

"As usual, you're friends" Sander chuckles. 

"About us." He adds.

And there it is. The look. Sander clenching his jaw, awaiting what Robbe has to say next. He knows Jens isn't his biggest fan. 

"Sander, you're playing me. I've been letting you because I'm in love with you but you can't keep lying to me saying you're going to leave her."

Sanders face just falls into his palms, scrubbing it in frustration. 

"What do you want me to do, Robbe?"

"Break up with her "

"You know I can't."

"Yes, you can. You're just being a fucking coward. You can't have both of us forever, you realize that right?" 

Sander just nods.

"Do you even want to be with me?"

"Of course I do, you know that."

"Would you still be here if we weren't sleeping together?"

"Robbe!" He hisses offended. "Do you think that little of me. I'm in love with you, you know that. I would be here with or without sex."

Robbe just sighs, "I don't want to end this but I can't keep doing this. I'm better than this. I deserve better than this. Someone who wants to commit to me and I'll be enough for them "

"Baby, you are enough." Sander insists. 

"Then why doesn't it feel like it? If I was enough, you still wouldn't be with her."

"It's just more complicated than that, I told you that."

And before Robbe can reply, his phone is going off. Robbe looks at Sander pick up his phone and is about to leave the hall to take it as usual but Robbe just jumps up, blocking the door, "Talk to her right here."

"Robbe" He sighs. 

"Go ahead. Put it on speaker."

Sander just sighs, and goes to sit at the desk and looks out the window, putting it on speaker "Hello?"

"Hi baby, I missed you. How was your night?"

"Missed you too! It was chill. Fun. I'll be heading back home soon."

"I'll meet you there? We can grab lunch and go back to yours? Miss being with you." He hears her pouting through the line. The reason its been so long is because he promised Robbe he wouldn't have sex with her as long as he was having sex with him. 

"Yeah. I'll see you in a couple hours." He says, just wanting to get off the phone, feeling the hole being drilled in his back with Robbe's eyes. 

"Okay, I love you"

"Love you too" He hangs up and his head just falls into the desk. 

"If you sleep with her today, don't bother coming back to me. I mean it " He hears Robbe say. Sander doesn't reply.

"Can you leave now?" Robbe ask. Usually hes begging for the opposite but he just needs to deal alone right now so Sander stands up and starts getting dressed. Once he's ready to go, he leans over to give Robbe a kiss but the brunette just gives him his cheek. As Sander is about to walk out, Robbe reminds him, "I can't wait forever"

"I know."

.

Despite the circumstances of their relationship, Robbe wouldn't consider himself a homewrecker. He didn't know about Britt until about three weeks after they met. It just started off as hooking up which turned into more and then _I'm in love with you._

Robbe remembers within the first days seeing the message on Sanders phone. 

_I miss you, come over?_

Robbe had overlooked it when Sander said it was his ex who missed him. But then he would find her calling several times and Sander not wanting to go out much publicly together and Robbe started to put the pieces together and Sander admitted to still being in a relationship with Britt it but Robbe was already falling for him and Sander promised he'll leave her, so he stayed. 

Sander swore he was only still with her because his parents loved her and she took care of him when he's in an episode. Robbe believed him, especially when he confessed something so vulnerable like his mania so Robbe kept it going until Jens burst his bubble and told Robbe he's the mistress, the booty call and Robbe was letting Sander have his cake and eat it too.

Robbe didn't know what was true. He didn't know if Sander fell out of love with Britt like he said, if he was still having sex with her, if he was even planning on leaving her. He just knew he was in love with him and deserved Sander to reciprocate.

They don't talk much during weekdays, a couple texts exchanged. The weekend is really when they spend time together so when next Friday's party rolls around and Sander walks through the door, Robbe feels his heart get excited but his brain get questionable. Before he goes over to him, Jens ask him if he spoke to him. 

"I did, I told him how he was making me feel and he can't do this forever."

"And so?"

"I don't know, he had to leave after. So we'll see."

Jens leans down to whisper in his ear, "You need to stop sleeping with him. Hes says he's in love with you which may be true but you're still letting him fuck you. Hes still getting something so start depriving him of it and see if he decides to leave or stay."

Robbe nods unsure and just walks off to Sander who smiles his way. He wraps his arms around him and leans up to kiss him, "I missed you" Sander mumbles against his lips with a pout. 

"I missed you too." He replies though he's thinking about how they don't have to miss each other if he just breaks up with his girlfriend. 

Sander just pecks his lips again with a smile and Robbe gives him an inquisitive look, "What?" 

"Nothing" He shrugs. "Love you, that's all. Ready to go?"

"Can we go eat or something?" Robbe proposes.

Sander looks hesitant as if it's too much of a risk to hang out in a well lit place but he looks down at Robbe and feels like he has no other choice if he wants to stay with him so he just nods.

Robbe takes his hand and leads them out of the house party and they walk hand in hand down the street.

"You look so good today." Sander comments checking him out. 

Robbe cheeks warm up, "Stop"

Sander smirks and pulls Robbe close to him and wraps his arm around his shoulder and kisses his cheek, "I mean it."

.

When they get to the 24 hour fast food spot, they sit beside each other in a booth and Robbe swings his legs in Sanders lap, sharing their fries.

"I'm sorry...about how we left things last weekend." Sander apologizes.

Robbe nods and gives a weak smile up at him. 

"Are you upset with me?" Sander ask. 

Robbe shrugs, "I'm upset with the situation. I think you treat me like shit and I hate that I let you."

Sanders brows furrow in concern, "You think that? You think I treat you badly?"

"Not directly but keeping me on the side like this, yeah. You keep giving me hope that things are going to change and I stick around because for some reason, I love you but you lie to me every time."

"I don't lie, Robbe. I do want to end it."

"Then why haven't you?" He glares up at him.

Sander just sighs, not knowing what to say. "I just wanted to apologize." He says. 

Robbe nods as he chews on his fry and brings his knees to his chest, and his feet flat on the seat beneath him and looks up him, "I want to meet her."

"Meet who?" 

"Britt." He says simply. 

Sander looks at him like he has four heads and his mouth is open like a fish out of water, "Wh-I-uhh"

"I can meet her as your friend." He clarifies

"Robbe" He shakes his head disbelievingly. "I don't--why? I don't get it."

"I just want to meet her. There must be something about her keeping you from leaving."

Sander just stares down at the table and shakes his head in awe, "I don't know."

"What are you so scared of? I'm not going to tell her."

"It's going to be uncomfortable, Robbe. For me and for you. You're going to watch her kiss me and flirt with me and stuff?"

Robbe just shrugs, staring up at him as if he's ready for the challenge, "Can I meet her or not?"

"Do I have a choice?" He ask. Robbe shakes his head and finishes the fries by himself.

.

Sander text Robbe during the week,

_we can all meet friday at the Mediterranean spot?_

_okay._

_I love you, despite what happens or what things may look like. I love you more than anyone._

_okay._

And Robbe leaves it at that 

.

He sees them before they see him. Hes already sitting in the booth and he feels himself clenching his jaw and biting down on his teeth , looking at them. She's fucking gorgeous, of course she is. 

He gives a wave when Sander looks in his direction and he could see the panic and unease on his face. He leads Britt over and introduces them.

"I'm so excited to meet you" She smiles giving him a hug. "I know Sander goes out all the time but he never mentioned who with." She says sliding into the booth and Sander sitting beside her. 

"Yeah" Robbe chuckles. "It's been a while now" He smiles and gives a quick glance to Sander who's busy looking at the menu.

"So have you been to this spot before?" She ask. 

"Yeah, Sander and I came here before one night." He answers. "Where do you usually hang out together?" He ask making conversation. 

She looks up at Sander, as if asking for help, "We hang out at his place a lot, we like movies, concerts and stuff. We eat out a lot for date nights."

Robbe smiles and nods, "Fun. When was the last date?" He ask politely but he was a man with a plan and needed answers. 

"Tuesday. We went to taco night, had a couple of drinks and went back to his." She smiles. 

Robbe plays along and gives a suggestive look, "And how was that night?"

"Well, you know how it is." She smiles bashfully. "I can't complain." And that's all the confirmation Robbe needs to know he was being lied to. He looks over at Sander who's not even looking at them, eyes still lost in the menu. 

"So are you seeing anyone Robbe?" She ask with a friendly smile. 

"I am actually, yeah."

"Aw, you should of brought them tonight. We could have double dated. Was she busy?"

"He." He specifies. "And something like that."

The waitress comes to take their orders and retrieves the menus, Sander no longer being able to hide.

"Baby, why are you so quiet?" She ask giving a squeeze to his thigh that goes unnoticed by Robbe but it still sends panic through Sander. 

He gives an uncomfortable smile and shakes his head, "Think I'm just hungry"

She nods and then gives him a quick kiss and Robbe almost wants to puke at the sight. 

Being here and seeing them together, he's not breaking up with her any time soon. He realizes even if Sander isn't in love with her like he once was, she's so in love with him and he would never break her heart. And it doesn't even seem like there's distance between them which he claims he's been doing. Hell, she basically said they had sex a couple days ago when he told Robbe he wouldn't. 

He feels himself getting sick and excuses himself to step outside, rushing out and just takes deep breaths. 

The door opens moments later and Robbe looks to his right to see Sander walking over to him.

"Don't touch me. Please" 

Sander just stands beside him, "What's wrong?"

"You're never ending it with her" He says without question.

"What?"

"You're not ending it with her. Any time soon. That doesn't look like a girl who's boyfriend has been distant for months. She's all over you and you guys just had sex a couple days ago" He says in disbelief. 

"That was the first time in months, I swear. She was starting to get confused why I suddenly wasn't anymore so I just did it so she wouldn't suspect anything."

"How am I going to believe anything you say to me?" He ask his voice cracking, tears sitting in his ducts. "I just wish you'd be honest with me for once. Just tell me you're selfish and you want both of us and you keep lying to me to keep me holding onto something that's never going to happen. Can you just be honest about something, please?" He begs. "And she's so fucking sweet. How can you even cheat on her? You made her seem like an evil, controlling person and now I feel like shit for doing this with you. She doesn't deserve that."

"You barely know her, Robbe. She _is_ controlling." He insists. 

Robbe just shakes and scratches his head, "I think I'm gonna go."

"Robbe." He says in a pleading tone and tries to take his hand and Robbe steps back, "And I don't think you should come see me next weekend. Or ever."

"Don't do this." He chokes up. "Fuck, I'm sorry, baby. Please. Just give me more time." 

Robbe just rolls his eyes, absolutely over it and walks off and Sander just calls after him, watching him leave. 

He pulls himself together and walks back inside and sits down, "Where's Robbe?"

"He left, he wasn't feeling well."

"Aw, Okay. Are you alright?" She ask bringing her hand up to his cheek and he nods and closes his eyes, "I'm just stressed."

She pouts and kisses him, "I love you"

"I know. I love you too." He replies as their food is being placed down on their tables. 

.

Robbe gets multiple texts throughout the week.

_I'm really sorry._

_can I see you this weekend? What party will you be at?_

_I wish you would believe me that I want to be with you_

_Hi baby_

_Hi. Just letting you know I love you..._

_I want to tell her the truth about us, im just scared. We've been together for six years, our parents already have our wedding planned. thats how far in this is. it's hard, I'll be hurting more than just her but I know i dont love her anymore and i know I want you. That's the truth._

_I hope I can come by tomorrow?_

Robbe ignores each and every message and just stays in that Friday with Jens and Milan, not in the mood to party and they all have some beer and pizza. 

"That was a really bad date. In fact, I can't even remember the last good date I've been on." Milan rants. 

"Have you been dating Jens?"

He shrugs, "A little, Jana and I are still messing around but nothing serious. I'm open to something but not really looking, you know?" 

"Aw you guys are cute. You were each other's first loves and you can't let go"

As Milan is about to interrogate Robbe, there's a knock on the door. 

They all look to each other confused, having not invited anyone over. Robbe gets up since he's closest to the door and looks through the peep hole and he sighs, his forehead leaning against the door, "What are you doing here?" He ask through the door.

"Can we talk? Please?" 

"Robbe, who is it?" Milan calls from the living room. He walks back to join the boys, "It's Sander" 

"What is he doing here?" Jens questions. 

And Robbe just shrugs annoyed with a twitch of his lips. 

"I'm gonna talk to him." Jens gets up before Robbe could stop him and opens up the front door. 

"Hi" Sander says, "Can I talk to Robbe?"

"He doesn't want to talk right now." Jens say stepping outside of the apartment and closes the door behind him, asking, "What do you want?"

"I uh--I just wanted to apologize to him."

"Haven't you apologized enough? Seriously, it's fucking ridiculous you stringing him on like this. I'm tired of you doing this to him, he doesn't deserve it."

"I know."

"You keep saying that shit but what changes, Sander? Stop using him."

"I'm not using him, I love him."

Jens sucks his teeth, "As long as you're still seeing your girlfriend, that's it. You don't get to have both, it doesn't work like that. He's finally had enough." He says and heads back inside, "Stop texting him."

.

Sander cries a lot over the next couple of weeks because he knows he's going to tell Britt. Even if Robbe wasn't in the picture, he can't stay with her forever if he's unhappy. 

He tells her one evening when they're watching television. Hes been gazing at the screen feeling hypnotized and then it escapes his lips before he even realizes, "We need to break up."

He already feels the tears coming before she says anything. She turns towards him and chuckles humorously, waiting for the punchline but when she realize it's not coming, she clears her throat, "What?"

"I'm so sorry."

"Sander, what's going on? We can get through it. Just talk to me."

He shakes his head, "I just can't, I'm not--its not there for me anymore. I've been trying and it's just--"

"Is it there with someone else?"

He briefly thinks about saying no but if he tells another lie, he feels likes he's going to drown in them and just nods, "I'm really sorry."

She just stares at him in disbelief, struggling to process everything, "I don't even know what to say to you right now. We've together for six years and that's just it?"

"I can't force it, Britt. I've been fucking going crazy over here trying to make it work and I can't. I can't live this, I'm not happy."

"Who's the other person?"

"It doesn't matter"

"Sander--"

"Britt, that's irrelevant, okay? This doesnt have to do with them. This was inevitable, they just sped up the process."

She just curses under her breath and starts grabbing her things and leaves without another word. 

.

Sander text Robbe a couple days later after feeling a little better about everything 

_hi, I know you hate me, I don't blame you but just wanted to tell you, I broke it off with her. we're 100% done and if you want, we can get together and talk? I really miss you._

_I don't know,_ he receives a couple hours later 

_please._

_why should i? you hurt me a lot._

_I know but it's done, robbe. we can be together finally._

_come to mine in 30 and we'll talk_

_._

When Sander arrives at Robbe's, the brunette feels uncomfortable and awkward as they sit on his couch, "How's Britt?"

"I don't know, I haven't spoken to her."

"So why did you end it now all of a sudden?"

"I'm sick of lying, Robbe. And I don't want to lose you."

"Sander, I want to be with you but am I just supposed to because now you've made up your mind and decided I'm what you want?"

"No I didn't mean it like that. Whatever you decide, I'm okay with. If you want to be with me or not, I want you to do what makes you happy but I do love you so much, okay?"

"I do love you but i wish I didn't" He admits. "I do want to be together but I need to think about this. "

"Think about what?"

"I don't know, to figure out if this is what I want. If you did this within the first month of us seeing each other, I would have said yes but you strung me along for so long and hurt me so I have to think."

"So even after all of this, there's a chance we're ending this?" 

"You say it like it's my fault, Sander."

"I--" He just sighs feeling like he can't get anything right and staring up at Sander, Robbe realizes they cant start a relationship like this. Not a healthy one at least. 

So he says it while looking down at the floor, "We cant be together right now."

"Why? Robbe, I just ended everything for you." He stutters confused

"You needed to do that anyway, you were messing around with someone else for four months."

"Robbe" He sighs. "Please, come on. We can do this."

"I think, maybe we should just be friends and get to know each other outside of this thing and see what happens in the future."

Sander just rest his face in his hands in disbelief and feels himself getting choked up when Robbe's small voice says, "I'm sorry"

Robbe picks Sander up from his hands and wipes away his tears, "You need to know you can't have everything your way. You fucked up and you deserve this. What is this going to teach you if as soon as you end things with her, we get together? That you got everything you wanted out of this whole thing? It's not right and I'm not saying never Sander, just not now."

He nods and just feels relief in Robbe's hands on his cheek. Robbe leans in to give a soft kiss to his lips and then Sanders gaze shifts up to him as he leans in for another kiss, not pulling away. And Robbe climbs into his lap as things get kicked up a notched, and they're about to do this for what may be the last time. 

.

They're full on sobbing while having sex. And not because it felt really good, which it did. It always did, but they knew this may be the end with each other. Sanders head is in his neck and Robbe is nuzzled into his shoulder with his arms around his back, deeply and slowly thrusting into him as they cry against each other. They don't stop crying but it still doesn't take away from how great the sex or their orgasms were. But when Sander gets up and starts getting dressed, realizing he can't stay like he wants, Robbe starts wondering if he made the right choice. 

But he knows he did. He needs to stand up for himself and maybe in a couple months or so, he and Sander can pursue something but right now, he needs to focus on him and figure out if Sander even deserves him. He walks Sander to the front door when he's fully dressed, not bothering to put clothes on himself since no one was home. 

They stand in moments of silence at the door until Sander says, "Promise you'll call? Eventually?"

Robbe nods and wraps his arms around him and Sander starts choking up again and kisses the top of his head, "I love you."

"Love you." He says pulling away. 

Sander sends a smile through the pain and unlocks the door and descends down the steps. 

And Robbe is at a stand still. He closes the door and leans back against it. It hurts. Hes never felt pain like this, it's almost worst than the cheating but he knows it's the right decision for now. And if the universe wants to bring them together in the future, then he wouldn't be opposed. But it was time for Robbe to start focusing on himself. 


	2. Chapter 2

Three years. It had been three years since they last spoke to each other. Since Robbe ended it. And Robbe never did end up calling. And they didn't continue a friendship. Whatever they had was flatlined. 

So when Robbe sees him, his heart is racing, he's terrified and anxious. He swallows the lump in his throat and blinks several times, unsure if it's really him. 

He then turns away, in a hurry to find Jens through the party. He eventually finds him on the second floor and pulls him away from the girl he's making out with, "I just saw Sander."

Jens brows furrow, " _Sander_ Sander?"

"Yes, obviously. Can we go please? I don't want to run into him."

"Fuck, yeah lets go." He apologizes to the girl and the duo rush out, scrambling through the crowds until they're finally outside, a sense of relief washing over them. He feels like he can finally breathe. 

"Robbe?"

Robbe's eyes widen and he slowly turns around and there he is. _So much for avoiding him._ Smoking on a stoop, still looking as good as ever. A little taller, more defined face, still making Robbe weak in the knees. 

He gives a shy wave and reluctantly walks over to him, "Hi"

Sander stands up and smiles at him, "It's been a while. It's good to see you."

"You too." He replies. "We do have to go though." He says gesturing to Jens waiting a couple feet away 

"Do you have to? Do you want a smoke a bit with me and just catch up?" Sander ask and Robbe's contemplating if he should agree or not. He finds himself looking at Sander who's giving such a sweet smile and he does want to know what he's been up to all these years so he nods. He turns back to Jens, "I'm gonna stay for a little bit."

"Sure?" He ask.

Robbe nods and gives him a hug, "I'll text you when I'm home."

Silence falls in between them as Jens leaves and Robbe stands next to Sander leaning back against the brick wall. 

Sander offers him a hit, bringing the joint to his lips and he leans in, wrapping his lips around it and inhaling, getting flashbacks from the first time they did this when Sander stayed over one night. 

He pulls back, blowing the smoke out of his nose, "So who did you come here with?"

"A couple of friends. They're still in there, drunk off their ass. So how have things been?"

"Things have been fine. I'm graduating this year and have a job lined up. What about--"

"Why didn't you call?" Sander interrupts like he couldn't keep it in any longer. 

"Hmm?"

"After everything went down, you said you were going to call. That maybe we could be friends. I waited forever for you to call me." He admits staring out into the street.

Robbe clenches his jaw, staring at the ground and racking his brain on what to say. 

"I--um, you know I couldn't just be friends with you." He admits softly

"Then why did you say you would?"

"I don't know, Sander. I thought it would make things easier in the moment. But I knew I couldn't try to just be friends, it wouldn't have worked."

"And you couldn't call and tell me so I wasnt waiting around for you?"

Robbe's head whips up to Sander so fast, "Are you kidding me?" Sander turns to him confused as Robbe says, "You're upset I had you waiting? Did you forget how we ended up in that situation, Sander? You had me waiting. _For months_. And I didn't complain. For months. And you still couldn't make a decision when I decided I had enough so don't talk to me about waiting around. I'm the one who fucking waited forever for you and if I didn't want to call, I didn't have to. I didn't owe you anything "

Sander swallows the lump in his throat, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I was just really hurt, thats all."

"Sander, you realize how hypocritical this is all sounding, right?"

He nods and just rubs his forehead in frustration and takes another hit, "I just want you to know I'm not that person anymore. I was immature and I would never do that now."

"Have you spoken to Britt since everything?"

"I tried, to see how she was handling everything but she never answered. I don't blame her." 

Robbe nods as he snatches the blunt from Sander and takes another hit, "Think you've had enough." He teases and starts walking away. Sander chuckles amused and starts walking after him, "Are we going somewhere?" 

Robbe shrugs and just continues walking. They walk upon a barren car-less street and turn down the block, walking in a comfortable silence in either side of the street. 

"Are you single now?" Robbe ask.

"I am yeah, have been since. What about you?"

"Um no. I'm engaged actually." Sander stops walking and looks at him in shock and clears his throat and continues walking, "Wow um--wow, congrats. He's a lucky guy."

Robbe burst out into laughter and hunches over, "I was kidding."

"You think that's funny?" Sander ask shaking his head, a smirk on his lips. "That's funny to you? "

"A little bit" Robbe chuckles and Sander runs to him, picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. 

"Sander, Sander" Robbe laughs hitting his back. 

"You're going to wake people up, no yelling."

So Robbe slaps Sanders ass as that's the only leverage he has and doesn't stop until Sander has had enough and puts him down.

"If you wanted to touch my ass, all you had to do was ask."

Robbe narrows his gaze up at him and brings his hand to cover his face and flips him off and Sander leans in to bite his finger. 

They stay out there for four hours talking in the empty streets, playing tag, catching up, mildly flirting, being absolute nuisances and Robbe is tip toeing back in his apartment as the sun is rising at six am and passes out with an embarrassing smile on his face. 

.

He wakes up to banging on his door and groans, immediately feeling a headache. "What?" He groans.

"Let me in" He hears Jens say on the other side. He lazily gets up to unlock his door and crawls back under the blanket, "Bro, you didn't tell me when you got home. Thought you died."

"What time is it?"

"11"

"Oh my god Jens, it's still fucking early. Go back home, I only got like 5 hours of sleep."

"Why? Did something happen with you and Sander?" 

When Robbe doesn't reply, Jens gasp, "You guys fucked, didn't you?"

"Jens!!!!" He groans. "I'm tired"

"Well did you?"

"No, we were just hanging out. That's it."

"Till 6 in the morning?" He ask suspiciously

"Yes, till 6 in the morning."

"Speaking of, he's calling you." 

Robbe jumps up and grabs his phone off the table and shoos Jens away, who refuses to go so he tucks himself under his blanket, "Hello?"

"Hey, you're up. Didn't think you would answer."

"Yeah, Jens woke me up, I'm still tired. Why are you up right now?"

"My roommate was loud in the kitchen and it woke me. I had a good time last night by the way."

"Yeah, yeah me too." He feels a blush creep his cheeks and is glad he's under the blanket, "Did you want to hang out tonight? If you're free?" 

"Um where?" 

"I can cook up sonething, save some money?" He suggests. 

"Y--yeah." He stutters. "That sounds good."

"Great, I'll see you later, Robbe. I'll text you my address and the time."

When Robbe hangs up, he stays hidden in the blanket and Jens just lies on top of him, "You're not escaping an interrogation by hiding in there."

"We're hanging out tonight" He says, voice muffled in the blanket. "Jens, just let me sleep some more and we can talk about this later. "

"Fine." He pats Robbe's shoulder and leaves the boy to rest. 

.

Robbe doesn't know why but he's nervous, waiting for Sander to open his door. He's shifting his weight on each leg as the door suddenly opens, "Sorry, I'm trying to finish up the food." He says a little scattered. "Come in" he insists , rushing back to the, kitchen. 

Robbe walks in and closes the door behind him, hanging his jacket on the coat rack and walks through the apartment, taking in all the art and walks into the kitchen, "Is your roommate an artist too?"

"Yeah he is, Why? Those paintings too nice to be mine?'he jokes. 

"No" He chuckles, "I saw his initials. So what are you making?"

"Well, I'm attempting to make lemon crusted salmon. I already have the mash done " Sander then turns to Robbe, "You look good tonight by the way"

"Shut up" He blushes and turns away to go to the living room and sits on the couch, kicking his feet up and turning the television on finding something to watch. 

"Come serve me, I'm starving." Robbe calls out

"Give me like 10 minutes." He hears Sander reply. Robbe finds a film to watch and waits for his food. Sander comes in about seven minutes later with the bowls in hand and hands Robbes his food. 

"Thank you" He says and Sander joins him on the couch as they dig into the food.

"So what's the verdict ?" Sander ask after a couple of bites.

"Good, you know you're a good cook, I don't know why you're asking"

Sander shrugs and takes another bite, "Doesn't hurt to inflate my ego a bit."

"I think you got enough of that."

Sander narrows his gaze at him and just continues to eat, "How's Milan?"

"He's good, his boyfriend is kind of living with us."

"That's cute. How did they meet?" 

"At his work"

"Speaking of work, what's the job you have lined up after school?"

They continue to chat throughout dinner and then settle in the first steps of their food coma so they decide to relax and focus their attention on the movie. 

About fifteen minutes in, Robbe lies down on the couch, his head in Sanders lap, "Shut up, I'm just tired."

"Okay" Sander chuckles. As Robbe is trying not to fall asleep, Sander brings his fingers down to his neck and starts grazing his skin, following the curve of his ear and Robbe groans, "What are you doing?" 

"Nothing"

Robbe turns to look up at Sander, "Hands to yourself."

"Hands to yourself." He mocks in Robbe's voice and Robbe punches him in the dick and Sander yells out obscenities and pushes Robbe off of him. 

"You know you don't have to hurt me if you want to touch me. You can just ask politely."

"Fuck off, I don't want to touch you. I wouldn't touch you again if someone paid me."

"Wow, a bit harsh." He chuckles

Robbe just kicks him, "You're so annoying. Can't believe I ever wanted to be with you."

"You're just shredding my ego to pieces,huh?" Robbe doesn't disclose that it's his own defense mechanism and just shrugs. 

"Well, I don't need to be paid to touch you and I can believe why I wanted us to work." Sander adds

Robbe narrows his gaze, confused as to why this suddenly took a serious tone, "Sander, I was kidding"

"I know but you keep bringing that stuff up, I know I fucked up and I didn't deserve you. Why do you have to keep reminding me?"

"Sorry" He mutters. "Didn't realize it was bothering you"

"I just don't need to be reminded constantly that you regret everything that happened, okay?"

"Sander, I don't regret it. I wish I didn't get hurt but I don't regret the time we spent together."

Sander looks up at him and nods and looking down at his interlocked fingers, "I'm sorry again about all of that."

Robbe sighs and scoots closer to him and caresses his back, "I'm fine, okay? Its been a while, you don't have to worry about me."

"I know but I dont know-- hanging out with you again, I'm just like I can't believe I did that like the choice is so obvious now. I just--" He sighs not knowing the right words.

"What do you mean it's obvious?"

"Has my flirting not been obvious? I mean I knew back then you were the right choice but i was scared. And just being here now, I'm thinking that same thing and can't believe I let you go. "

Robbe is just staring at him wide eyed though Sander isn't staring at him. Robbe clears his throat and scoots back, "Should I go?"

Sander shrugs, "Whatever you want to do, I didn't mean to ruin this night."

"It's okay, maybe we can't dive right back into it and see each other days in a row. It needs to be a small dive back in. So I'll go for now"

Robbe nods and Sander walks him to the door. 

"I'll see you soon, right? You're not gonna disappear on me?"

Robbe chuckles and shakes his head, "Not this time."

He leans in to give him a tight hug, one that rocks them back and forth on their feet. As they're pulling back from their hug, their eyes meet and it had to be a change in the gravitational pull because Robbes lips meet Sanders in no hesitation. It's slow, deep and intimiate. Sanders hands come up to Robbe's waist and caresses him through his jacket. 

Robbe's hands lock behind Sanders neck and then trails down his chest and when his hands crawl up his chest, under his shirt, Sander figures this is going further than a goodbye makeout session so he picks him up and carries him to his bedroom.

And they end up sleeping together. Not missing a beat. And if possible, it was better than before. Their sexual compatibility is simply unmatched, they fit so well. Sander had Robbe screaming his name and he's aware he may need to send an apology to the neighbors but the body crippling orgasm was worth it.

But now they're lying down, facing the ceiling in silence, unsure if they're going to acknowledge what just happened. 

Before they speak, Sander grabs a mini towel and wipes down the remnants of their pleasure off of Robbe's stomach.

"Thank you" Robbe forces a smile. 

Sander throws the towel into the hamper across the room and then looks down at Robbe, "I don't regret this happening just now."

He watches Robbe mule it over in his mind for a bit and then sees a lone tear run down his face. 

"What's wrong?" Sander ask.

Robbe shakes his head and sits up, getting hinself together. 

"Robbe, what--"

"I still want you" He chokes out through tears. "And I hate that I do."

"Robbe, I'm a different person now."

"Not to me because I look at you and still see those memories. And I'm looking at you, just waiting for you to leave right now because that's what you did every time after you got done with me."

"You're making it seem like I would just go by to fuck you, you know it was more than that."

"I thought so too at the time but you never planned on leaving Britt back then so you were just coming to fuck me. That was it, just to keep me lingering on the slightest bit of hope that you'd pick me over her."

Sander sighs, "Well, I'm not leaving now. And I know we don't have many memories now to trump those but I hope we can because I don't want you to keep thinking that's me. It's not, Robbe. Not anymore. Let me take you out, can we start over?"

Robbe wipes his cheeks, bringing his knees up to his chest, "Start over how?"

"Lets do it all over. Properly. Go on a date with me."

Robbe bites the inside of his lip and nods, "Okay."

Sander climbs out of bed and throws Robbe's clothes to him, "Wait now?"

"Yeah, now. Come on"

"Sander" He chuckles rushing to get dressed, following Sander's lead and once they're dressed, Sander takes his hand and leads the way, running out of the apartment like children. 

How Robbe wish they could of been back then. They're basking in the cool air, walking hand in hand and it feels like there's only them two out tonight. They're flirting and touching a lot, teasing each other, their usual. And Sander takes them to a bowling spot.

They spend a lot of time making fun of each other because they're both pretty bad and unskilled, neither able to make a spare or strike in the entire first round. There's a lot of making out, the ambient lightning may be to blame. But they can't keep their hands off each other. 

They separate so Robbe can bowl his turn and Sander smacks his ass on the way up to the lane and Robbe hisses and turns back to him, "Did you forget what we did early? Still a bit sore, no touching."

Sander holds his hands up in defense and watches Robbe bowl his set of two, hitting no more than a total of 5 pins.

When he comes back down, Sander is holding up his phone, "Jens called."

"Oh." He says sitting down beside him and taking his phone back to return the call. 

Robbe looks up to Sander and nudges to the lane, "Are you not going to bowl?"

Sander knows Jens doesn't like him so he did want to be a bit noisy and see what their conversation would be about after Robbe explained tonight's events but he gets up to bowl, giving him his privacy. 

"Hey man, you called. What's up?"

"What are you up to? Wanna go out?" Jens asked 

"I---um, I'm with Sander right now"

"Doing what?" Jens ask confused. 

"We're at a bowling alley "

"Wait so are you guys dating or something? What's going on?"

Robbe steps away from the lanes for a bit for some privacy, "Nothing, he just, he invited me over for some food and things ended up happening and we had a talk and now we're on a date. "

"A talk as in what? That you guys are going to try this again?"

"That was part of it "

He hears Jens just sigh on the line.

"What Jens, what now? Don't you trust me to make my own decisions?"

"No actually, not in regards to this. Do you remember what you said after you guys ended things? That I was right the whole time and you should of listened to me because I only want to look out for you. And now you're getting involved with Sanders mess all over again. Forgetting everything that happened."

"He's single, Jens! And it's been three years, things changed. People change."

"Fine Robbe, fine. You're going to do what you want but if you're going to expect me to pick up the pieces again after someone who doesn't even deserve you treats you badly..."

"Why are you doing this? Stop making me feel guilty. I, yeah, maybe this a stupid decision but it's the choice I'm making right now and I'm okay with that. You know I care about your opinion but I don't need you to constantly remind me you don't like him or think he's good enough. Do you want meet him or something? Like proper so you don't have to worry about me?"

"If you think something is going to come of it then yeah, eventually I would. We have been best friends since we were 6, Robbe. Ever since everything with your parents, I take care of you and this is part of me taking care you"

"I know, I know. Bro, I love you but things are fine, okay? And if things get more serious,we'll all go out to lunch or something, alright?"

"Okay bro, that sounds good. Have fun."

When Robbe ends the call, he closes his eyes and take several breaths to relax until he feels arms wrap around him and Sander resting his head on his shoulder, "Saw you were done with your call, everything okay?"

Robbe turns around in Sanders arms and nods, "It's just, you know Jens is protective of me"

"And he hates that you're out with me right now?"

Robbe shrugs, "Something like that. "

"It's like trying to impress your parents with that dude."

"I mean-yeah, he's just worried. But I told him I need to make my own decisions and he respects that."

Sander nods and leans in to give him a soft kiss, "Do you want to keep playing?"

"Well yeah, I have to beat you" He smiles lightening the, mood and heading back to their lane . When they finish with Sander coming out, several points on top, they both want to go back to Sanders place but Sander insist he take Robbe home since it's their first official date. 

They walk the twenty five minute journey to Robbe's. 

"I'll see you soon?" Sander ask.

"Course"

Sander leans in to give him a goodnight kiss and Robbe pulls him by his jacket and wraps him arms around him. Things are so magnetic with Sander, it's so impossibly hard to stay away. 

Sander pushes Robbe back against the building and deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue in his mouth and Robbe's arm snakes under Sanders leather jacket, holding him.

When they pull back, Sander just holds Robbe's chin, looking down at him. He leans down and sucks and softly bites his bottom lip, his forehead eventually resting on Robbe's, eyes falling closed, "I'm trying really hard to be a gentleman"

"You don't have to" he insists because he's feeling just as turned on.

Sander nods, "I do, this is our first date and I'm not going to but god , it's so hard to resist you."

Robbe smiles and leans in to give him a kiss, "Next date, may be I'll cook for us?'

Sander smiles, "I'd like that"

Robbe kisses his cheek and separates to start heading in inside but he feels a tug on his hand and Sander pulling him back. He pouts his lips at Robbe, "One more"

Robbe chuckles and gives him another kiss, lingering a bit before pulling back, "Text me when you get home "

"I had fun tonight " He says watching Robbe open the front door. Robbe blows him another kiss, "Me too" before the door closes behind him. 

"Fuck" Sander sighs leaning his back against the building, reeling over the night that just happened. And feeling on cloud nine.

.

They can't stay away from each other, the forces in the universe pull them together and it's hard to leave each other every time. It's been weeks of cooking dates, movie dates, talking, dinner, karoke, always something new and they hadn't had sex since the night of their first date and it's been about a month. 

Their plans for tonight are to have a picnic by the water. Spring has sprung and they're having their first outdoor date. When Robbe spots Sander walking towards him, he lights up and Sander smiles, jogging over to him and gets on his knees to meet him on them blanket and kisses him, Robbe falling down on his back. 

He laughs, "Sander, Sander."

Sander pulls back and sits down, taking the backpack off, "I got all the goods." He says unzipping. 

"I got some sandwiches." He says pulling each item out. "We got some chips, some strawberries because we know I have to feed you. " He winks. "We have some pasta I made. Some more fruit and then grand finale, some wine." He smiles holding the bottle up and uncorking it, pouring them both a glass.

"Cheers?"

"Cheers." Robbe smiles, clinking their glasses together. Once Sander starts unwrapping everything, Robbe just scoots over on the blanket and sits in between his legs, curling sideways into his chest.

"Everything okay?" Sander ask.

He nods, kissing his neck, "Just like being close to you."

Sander smiles and kisses the top of his head, "Okay, take your pick."

Robbe leans in and grabs a sandwich to start off and Sander does the same, "So how's school been?"

"It's okay, I'm just waiting for the end of the semester and for summer."

"Can't wait to spend my summer with you." Sander shares and Robbe turns to face Sander sitting in between his legs, "What do your parents think you all day?"

"They know I'm with you, I told them."

"Really?" Robbe questions 

"Yeah really. I'm really close with them."

"That's sweet." Robbe smiles and looks down, picking away at his sandwich.

"What's wrong?" Sander ask.

"Nothing, I--nothing." He takes another bite of the sandwich to avoid speaking. Sander tilts Robbes head, "Talk to me."

He swallows the bite, "It's really nothing, sometimes I just wish I could call my parents up and vent or say that I met this great guy."

"So things still aren't great, huh?"

Robbe shakes his head, "Mom is so ill,she's not even on this planet anymore and dad and i." He sighs. "I don't know, it's just we just grew apart."

"Well, you have me now, Robbe. I know it's not the same but you can vent to me."

"I know, thank you." He smiles leaning up to kiss him and Sander mutters against his lips, "Be my boyfriend"

Robbe pulls back with wide eyes, staring up at him, "Hmm?" 

"You heard me" Sander smiles. Robbe chuckles, "Say it again"

"Be my boyfriend" He says smoothly. 

And Robbe nods without hesitation, climbing into his lap, kissing him into another dimension. They finish snacking on their food, lie down in each other's arms, looking at the blue skies until the sky turns a shade of yellow and orange. And only then do they realize they've been talking for hours. 

They head back to Robbe's and Sander dumps the perishables in the fridge as they gather on the couch for a movie but as measly 10 minutes in, Robbe cant keep his hands to himself and climbs into Sanders lap and kisses him. It's dirty and messy and fast and Robbe unbuttons and unzips Sanders pants and dives his hand in to pull out his growing erection and starts stroking him as their lips stay locked, Robbe swallowing his boyfriend's moans.

Robbe eventually pulls back from the kiss and gets down on his knees and takes him in his mouth. Hes learned he loves giving when being intimate. Don't get him wrong, he loves being taken care of but he loves doing this to Sander. He's the only person that he's done this with,in fact. 

He pulls back and slaps Sanders now aching hard dick against his tongue looking up at him. And Sander caresses his jaw, shaking his head in disbelief, "I'm so lucky"

Robbe smiles and continues sucking him off.

"Baby, go down a bit more, please." He begs and Robbe takes him down his throat and Sander can't help himself in locking his hand in Robbe's hair, "Just like that baby, holy fuck." He groans and Robbe pulls off coughing and Sander pulls Robbe into a kiss and lies him down on the couch. 

He gets rid of all his clothes, folds him in half in a swift move and starts eating him out until Robbe is shaking and begging. 

"Need a condom"

"Look at the table near my bed" He says breathlessly and Sander gets up to grab a condom and gets back on the couch and slides it on, he lubes them up a bit more and then leans down to kiss his boy and simtaneously lines himself up and pushes in. "God Sander" Robbe moans

The first thrust always feels so unbelievably good but also he feels stretched every time. 

Robbe wraps his legs and arms around him, being all consumed with his boyfriend's body. 

Robbe pulls back from the kiss, his head falling back when Sander hits a certain spot. Sander starts kissing on his neck and Robbe moaning out desperately, "Right there, right there" 

Being intimiate with Sander came so naturally to Robbe. Sander was his first and only but they just got comfortable so quickly and figuring out each other's bodies fast and by the second time, Sander admitted to Robbe being the best sex he's ever had. And now being together and emotionally connected, it only made a great experience greater and Robbe was on a euphoric high right now.

Sander adjust so hes now sitting up on his knees and starts pounding into him and Robbes arm just comes to cover his face as he cries out in pleasure, biting into his arm.

Sander wraps his hand around Robbe and warns him he's getting close so he's trying to speed up Robbe's own orgasm.

"Feel good, baby?" Sander ask.

Robbe nods, his head tilted back as his fingers play with his nipples, "Sander" He whines looking down at his dick, on the edge. His head falls back, "Sander" He whines. And Robbe is soon coming all over his chest and Sander doesn't waste a second more before letting himself finish. 

"Fuck" he breaths out, collapsing on top of Robbe. 

Once they catch their breaths, Sander leans in to give Robbe a kiss, "Feeling okay?"

Robbe wipes his sweaty forehead and nods, "Just need a shower."

So they get up and shower together before passing out soon after they got out 

.

Robbe knew being with Sander would come natural. He knew it back then and it's evident now how well they work together. After a couple weeks, Robbe asked Sander if he's comfortable having a dinner with Jens.

He takes a while to reply but eventually says, "I mean I'd like to avoid it if I can but if it's important to you then I'll do it."

So this is how Robbe finds himself cooking with Jens being his assistant chef, Sander on his way. 

"Seriously Jens, please don't make him uncomfortable."

Jens laughs, "How would I do that?"

Robbe shoots him a glare, "Seriously. I really want you to guys to get along. Please."

"I don't want to dislike him. I just need to make sure he's not gonna hurt you like he has before. That's all. As long as I know that, we're cool."

The door rings several minutes later and Jens goes to get it, opening the door and Sander is surprised to be greeted by him, "Hi, nice to see you again."

"You too" He says letting him in. Sander walks to the smell of the food and sees Robbe cooking, "Hi baby"

Robbe smiles and puckers his lips and Sander gives him a sweet kiss, "What are you making?"

"Pasta. It'll be done in a minute. Go sit out there."

"Alone with Jens?"

Robbe pouts, "I need you guys to get to know each other."

"Fine just hurry up please" 

Sander heads to the living room and joins Jens on the couch in front of the TV.

A few moments of silence pass before Sander says, "I know you're not my biggest fan but um--Ive grown up since then. Robbe sees that and I know you helped him after everything so I apologize to you but Robbe is it for me."

Jens just scratches his head, "It's hard. Robbe doesn't have many people and hes used to things not working out, he's been disappointed and hurt enough and I'm tired of seeing it." Jens says tearing up. "He doesn't deserve that and he's dealt with enough shit. And you knew that so for you to treat him like you did ---"

"I know. Fuck, I know. I regret it, I know I made a mistake. And for some reason, I've been giving the chance to do it over again and I want him. I know he probably deserves better. " And now Sander is tearing up and Robbe walks out at that moment and Robbe stares at them confused, "What's wrong?"

"Just give us a minute" Jens smiles up at him and Robbe nods and scurries back to the kitchen 

"To be honest, I'm worried you're going to get bored or whatever and end up doing the same thing you did to Britt to Robbe. And if you do--" Jens shakes his head, not even imagining what he would do to him. 

Jens continues, "I feel like I'm holding Robbe's fears. He's so hopeful all the time and just expects the best in people who don't deserve him. And I have to be the rational one, making sure he doesn't get hurt or walked all over which he has. He can't go through anything like that again, Sander"

"I know, I know. And I would never. It hurt me everyday too. I was hurting too. I know this is too much but I'm still in love with him. I love him, that never changed for me. And I'm going to take care of him"

Jens nods, "I'm proceeding with caution, I just want Robbe happy."

"Me too"

"Can I come back?" Robbe calls out. "Im hungry" His boyfriend and best friend laugh and Robbe comes out and joins them, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is good" Jens confirmed.

"Why were you guys crying?"

"None of your business, it's private" Sander smirks. Robbe rolls his eyes and sits on the floor and the boys gather around the table, "Lets eat now."

.

When Jens is about to head out while Sander is in the shower, Robbe ask Jens what he thinks. 

"He loves you, I mean that's clear. Talking to him helped and getting to know him. And I'm sorry for not trusting you to make the right decision but I just want you to have the best. So you're happy and he's treating you well and that's what matters."

Robbe smiles and leans up to hug him, "Thank you"

"Wanna board tomorrow?" He ask.

Robbe agrees and they say goodbye for the night. Robbe heads to the bathroom, stripping his clothes to join Sander. 

He climbs in the back and Sander jumps, taken aback, "Fuck, you scared me. "

Robbe giggles and wraps his arms around Sander, "What did you think of tonight?"

"I think it went well, right? I don't he hates me anymore, it was fun. I just hope it makes you feel more comfortable about being with me." 

Robbe nods, caressing his soapy back, "It does. I mean, I was going to be with you anyway but it makes me happier you guys can get along now and I don't have to keep you guys separate."

"We just want the best for you."

"And you're the best for me" He admits, tip toeing up to kiss him and Sander slaps his ass and Robbe squeals and removes the shower head spraying Sander and they play around, bothering and teasing each other, truly the happiest they've both been in a long time.


End file.
